When we talk about collaborative divorce, we are talking about ways to find mutually agreeable solutions to the problems that pop up in a divorce. It is a way of thinking that tries to maximize the post-divorce lives of both spouses.
However, one aspect that is not often talked about when talking about collaborative divorce, is the collaboration that occurs for the children. The give and take is in the best interests of the Oakland, California, children. One such “best interests” option is nesting.
Nesting as the ultimate best-interest collaboration
When couples choose to nest, they are sacrificing their own comfort for the comfort of their children. In essence, they choose to share the costs of the family home, instead of selling it, and then, they both agree to keep their child there. This means that, instead of shuttling the child back and forth, the parents shuttle in and out of the “family” home.
Does this mean that nesting parents still live together?
Perhaps. Just like with any divorce topic, each divorcee decides what it looks like, including what nesting means to them. For the most friendly and amicable soon-to-be ex-spouses, perhaps, they can manage to still live in the same family home, at least temporarily until they have saved up enough money to start their new lives.
However, the more typical nesting practice is to live off-site when not parenting and to live on-site when parenting, according to the Oakland, California, child custody order and parenting plan.
What does nonparenting time look like?
Again, it depends on you and your ex-spouse. How do you want to manage your nonparenting time? Of course, you both can start living separately with all of the accompanying costs. Though many choose to share an off-site apartment to share those costs as well. This can make the divorce process much cheaper and help both spouses save money.
Benefits for the kids
For Oakland, California, nesting parents, their children’s lives do not change from the predivorce time. They stay in the same school, play in their same neighborhood and sleep under their own covers.
Depending on your needs, this can be a temporary arrangement just to get through the divorce and maybe, get some approval from a mental health professional. However, it could last even longer, depending on your unique needs. Nonetheless, most experts believe that couples should limit their nesting to 6 months.